He Said, She Said
"This week it's been all Frank Zappa all the time. Since Tuesday, the Rock Hall has hosted Zappa talks and seminars celebrating the iconoclast and rock 'n' roll satirist. And he deserves it. ...
Zappa, who died in 1993 of prostate cancer at the age of 52, was full of razor-sharp witticisms and comebacks. Once he appeared on the television talk show of an arch right-winger named Joe Pine. Pine had lost a leg in World War II and was proud of his wounded-vet status. It was the late 1960s, and Pine had only booked Zappa to ridicule him for being a hippie. Zappa walked on, sat down and Pine said, "You have long hair. You must be a girl."
"You have a wooden leg," Zappa shot back. "You must be a tree."
(from the MINISTER OF CULTURE
, who also points you to the local Zappa freak. And, yes, there is one in every crowd. Joe Pyne
appeared on local TV
for LA audiences before going national with his show, and was known for showing off & waving his gun around once or twice during broadcasts. During the boil-up before the Watts Riots, he advised every white person in Los Angeles to go buy a gun. Now you can tell, the actual quote The Minister cites
might have been changed somewhat over time and throughout historic or public memory, but the gist of it is still there, and the overall spirit of the exchange, so that's OK. So also now I suspect you can guess why some might have been inclined to refer to this televised atrocity quite simply as "The Joe Swine Show." It was a natural.)