Thursday, January 22, 2004
Anti-critic on perceived trend of rock musicians becoming rock journalists:
"If you read music criticism with any regularity, you've surely noticed the disquieting number of actual musicians moonlighting as rock journalists. The temerity of these people astonishes and saddens me. How can they justify bringing technical expertise, insider insight, and at least a remedial understanding of composition into a profession that's built on the principle of talking out of one's ass until one's sphincter incurs laryngitis? It's an outright affront to my particular, specialized skill set, not to mention it's unnatural -- didn't these jerks see the 90210 where a viciously panned campus artiste pithily informed Brandon that "Those who can, do. Those who can't, write reviews"?
You don't see me writing songs and sharing my "vision" with the world -- namely, because I haven't the first fucking idea how to. I've played guitar since high-school commencement and like to tell people that with a little time, I can "pick up" most pop songs they'd hear on the radio. I like to tell people that because it's a bold-faced fucking lie that masks my gross incompetence. I don't know scales. I can't read sheet music. I can't pick out individual notes, much less solo. I've never written a respectable song in my life, and -- especially as I careen toward the customary physical and mental collapse ...
Yet, these advanced rocker/journalist hybrids are ubiquitous, menacingly asserting their obvious superiority ...."
(OK, an interesting lead in to a "humor" article, but this business of musicians suddenly becoming music critics is actually a trend worth keeping track of. More especially so when musicians just last decade aspired to greater heights and preferred the logical career arc of becoming restauranteurs.
Other reasons they might become music writers:
1. Fiscal reality. Keep that much desired $20 bill fluttering towards them.
2. Keep their name and reputation alive in the industry.
3. And most importantly to keep their name in front of the public in a manner they could never achieve now as a mere musician -- without management, corporate PR staff, and buying a lot of radio play.
4. Others?
5. Who of this sub-set actually writes well about music. That's a serious question: I would truly love to know.)
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The following comment was posted:
Date/Time: Jan 22 2004, 06:07 am
Poster: s woods
IP address:
Email: none
Homepage: http://
I more or less agree with your first three reasons--how strange that going from musician to critic can now be considered a step up! (Not everyone is getting even as much as $20 bills waved in their faces, mind you, but yeah, it's easier to make a crap living as a writer probably than it is to make NO living as a musician.)
¶ 1/22/2004 12:19:00 AM
"If you read music criticism with any regularity, you've surely noticed the disquieting number of actual musicians moonlighting as rock journalists. The temerity of these people astonishes and saddens me. How can they justify bringing technical expertise, insider insight, and at least a remedial understanding of composition into a profession that's built on the principle of talking out of one's ass until one's sphincter incurs laryngitis? It's an outright affront to my particular, specialized skill set, not to mention it's unnatural -- didn't these jerks see the 90210 where a viciously panned campus artiste pithily informed Brandon that "Those who can, do. Those who can't, write reviews"?
You don't see me writing songs and sharing my "vision" with the world -- namely, because I haven't the first fucking idea how to. I've played guitar since high-school commencement and like to tell people that with a little time, I can "pick up" most pop songs they'd hear on the radio. I like to tell people that because it's a bold-faced fucking lie that masks my gross incompetence. I don't know scales. I can't read sheet music. I can't pick out individual notes, much less solo. I've never written a respectable song in my life, and -- especially as I careen toward the customary physical and mental collapse ...
Yet, these advanced rocker/journalist hybrids are ubiquitous, menacingly asserting their obvious superiority ...."
(OK, an interesting lead in to a "humor" article, but this business of musicians suddenly becoming music critics is actually a trend worth keeping track of. More especially so when musicians just last decade aspired to greater heights and preferred the logical career arc of becoming restauranteurs.
Other reasons they might become music writers:
1. Fiscal reality. Keep that much desired $20 bill fluttering towards them.
2. Keep their name and reputation alive in the industry.
3. And most importantly to keep their name in front of the public in a manner they could never achieve now as a mere musician -- without management, corporate PR staff, and buying a lot of radio play.
4. Others?
5. Who of this sub-set actually writes well about music. That's a serious question: I would truly love to know.)
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
The following comment was posted:
Date/Time: Jan 22 2004, 06:07 am
Poster: s woods
IP address:
Email: none
Homepage: http://
I more or less agree with your first three reasons--how strange that going from musician to critic can now be considered a step up! (Not everyone is getting even as much as $20 bills waved in their faces, mind you, but yeah, it's easier to make a crap living as a writer probably than it is to make NO living as a musician.)
¶ 1/22/2004 12:19:00 AM
